Claire + House = Disaster

     Like other people I know, I am slightly obsessed with Pinterest and TeachersPayTeachers.  I'm not going to lie...it has sucked away entire days of my summer vacation.  However, I am at least obsessed with something that could possibly make me a better teacher, right?  So it can't be that bad.  Until I look around the room.  And I think...BAAADDD....you see I have been somewhat glued butt to bed, laptop on legs...Pandora cranking out teenie-bopper tunes...while the children have been left to their own vices.  Now, it is not as if I have been ignoring them...Claire has been happily buzzing about the room all afternoon.  Hence the problem.  My bedroom is suddenly an insane collision of all things "Creative Claire" has deemed entertaining:  floor cushions, piano stool, spare keyboard, high heels, markers, tote bags, stuffed animals, lotions, cow flashlight, heating pad, at least five pairs of sunglasses, six or seven random shirts of mine....the list goes on and on...getting off the bed becomes a potentially dangerous land mine.  And the sad thing is I know my child...these items under no threats of punishment, coercion, or begging will ever be picked up by her.  Which now makes my afternoon of laziness a cruel joke on me.  Now, in addition to the normal household chores I have been neglecting, I have the five-year old cyclone to deactivate.  And that, my friends just seems overwhelming...I think I hear Pinterest calling me....

All That and a Bag of Chips...

     Okay, so I know I am really, really bad at this blogging thing...I want to be a good, faithful writer...but truthfully...first off–I bought a Kindle Fire and have sort of...abandoned my laptop. Not that I couldn’t blog on my Kindle Fire–I can, and I have...it just takes me a really long time. And secondly...I just can’t seem to focus on any one topic long enough to fill an entire entry...so today, out of guilt, I will sit here faithfully and type away...however I make no promises whatsoever of staying on topic...none. Remember that.
     This weekend was a whirlwind of various happenings...first off...Friday night we took the kids to see The Lorax. Which now brings their movie theater total up to a grand total of THREE visits. I know, we really outdo ourselves around here...we call it: Being Cheap. So off we went to spoil our children with a real movie theater experience. I liked it...I didn’t LOVE it...but that could be due in part to the fact that I had overtired, and ill-behaved Claire on my lap nearly the entire time...whispering LOUDLY things like, "When is it OVER? I want to see the movie I saw on your computer...I don’t like these glasses...they are HURTING my ears...Is it over NOW?" So...I have to admit a sense of relief flooded over me when the credits finally rolled. So much for spoiling our children. I walked out feeling like I had just put my child through torture...a very expensive 3D butter-coated, caffeine-splurging type of torture. Then, as a final kicker to the evening we had to make a quick stop at Walmart on the way home to make an emergency microwave purchase...as Neil had witnessed ours shooting out flames earlier in the day...and since I have a really serious bacon addiction right now–and pan cooked bacon is gross–we HAD to buy a new one. And seriously, what is it with Neil and fire-inducing appliances lately?
     Roll Saturday. Payton had her first EVER friend birthday party invite. Big stuff here. So, off we went...the entire family to send her off in style. I panicked slightly when giving her wardrobe free-reign...as she ended up with a Packer jersey and leggings...seriously? First grade? First party? This has sparkles and floofy skirts written ALL over it! Doesn’t she realize these will be the party photos that will resurface in 11 years as yearbook and slideshow flashbacks? However, I gave her the choice, and I wasn’t going to interfere...so off she went. Party was a huge success...(three of the six girls in skirts...future Prom court right there...). She happily chattered away the entire way to Grandma’s house when it was over. Claire and Carter were green with envy...and I was left yearning for Payton’s next birthday when I can put together an equally kid-wowing soiree.
     Unto Sunday. Well...went to Mass and Grocery shopping (put away groceries and realized we have 20 boxes of cereal in our pantry. 20. None are old. None are stale. We stock-pile cereal the way Mom and Dad did toilet paper.) Ate bacon...felt exhausted, ate more bacon. Took Excedrin to counteract exhaustion. Wished the house didn’t smell of bacon. Made cereal bars after feeling extreme disgust at having 20 boxes of cereal...Managed to use up two...down to 18. And now...Excedrin has kicked in enough that I could blog, and will now go whip up a casserole for supper...and maybe some laundry...and closet cleaning...although the kid's just put in Camp Rock...and I may get sucked in.
     And that my friends is a really long, really boring entry. You asked for it. I warned you. I did. So there. (Cue really childish tongue-sticking out and finger wiggling).

She's a Brick House...

     I was lying in bed last night thinking...I miss being pregnant.  (Now don't go getting any ideas, that ship has sailed...it was purely...reminiscent.)  Now, I am not referring to the tiredness, nausea, awkwardness, or overactive bladder...but the simple act of being pregnant.  You are not just you when you are pregnant...you are YOU...miracle worker...procreator...creator of human life.  The world looks more kindly upon you.  People smile at you more, they hold doors for you, they offer to carry things for you, and my Leo/Dragon persona reveled in it.  When pregnant, you are always accomplishing something.  Taking a nap?  Laying around on the couch?  Fabulous, you are not wasting time...you are growing a baby!  And that, my friends, is hard work!
     Pregnancy always made me in giggle in that it was such an outwardly public statement of what you have really been up to.  I mean, walk around with a big pregnant belly and there is just no denying it--and even as a happily married woman...I still found this slightly amusing.  It's no wonder that years ago, it was not polite to discuss a women's "delicate condition."  Although there is nothing "delicate" about being pregnant.  Ginormous?  Yes.  Delicate?  Not so much. 
     Whenever these pregnancy whims happen upon me, I have to remind myself of such things...and push my attention-seeking desires at bay...because really, as a mom, you may lose the kind admiration of perfect strangers you receive as a pregnant person, but you gain the undeniable admiration of these tiny people you create.  In my children's eyes I am a rock star...which brings me to my next entry...

"It's that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of love."

     Valentine’s Day.  Sigh.  Normally I give this holiday barely a thought…for some reason this year I was totally into it.  Usually, Valentine’s Day is Neil’s holiday.  He always surprises us with bags of candy and flowers and little notes of appreciation...I like to think of him as my "hokie romantic".  But this year I decided I wanted in on the action.  So I planned out a family movie night (which are HUGE in our house).  I designed my own scratch off lottery tickets, with a matching game on them…the prize: a family movie night—I know, exciting stuff here!  I then brought out the movie gift bucket…complete with:

new straw cups for the kids (our essential Shopko ice water movie night cups...)

The Smurfs (Cuz who doesn't love little blue people?),

Popcorn, and Movie Theater Candy all stored inside this fabulous M&M popcorn bucket!

   The kids were screaming like they had truly won the lottery.  Either way, I was feeling pretty darn impressed with myself.  Thinking I had really blown Neil out of the water.  Shazam!  Right?
   So I go into my bedroom to start getting ready for school...and that's when the little notes start appearing...remember my "hokie romantic"?  Yeah.  Him.  In the center of my bathroom mirror is a crudely cut cardboard heart with the simple:  I <3 U taped to the very center of it...Okay.  One.  Tiny.  Display of Affection.  I move on.  Shortly after that I reach for my purse...and there it is:   Hello Kitty winking at me, asking me to "Be Mine?"...yes, she is stuck onto my purse with...zebra print duck tape.  Just another little token of my husband's affection.  I give him that look that says, "Really, Neil, Hello Kitty?"  And he chuckles and gives me that sheepish look that says, "Sorry, hokie romantic here!" that warms my heart.  What's next?
     I'm leaving for work, I open up my van door and find another envelope lying on the front seat, this one has a Hello Kitty "Best Friends" stuck to the envelope, with, I honestly think guerrilla glue from the junk drawer...inside is a handwritten note, of such sweet and heartfelt sentiment, that I will have perma-grin going on the rest of the day.
     Of course, that was not the end of it...because this is NEIL we are talking about...and Valentine's Day is HIS thing, remember.  I am in the middle of our Reading story with my third graders, when Miss Hemmy walks in with a delivery...a box...and sitting in the box is a stuffed bear, holding a "Be Mine" pillow (which my children will be fighting me for when we get home) and a vase of flowers with three different colored roses--one for each of our three children...and another card scratched out in his barely legible script making me feel like the most loved person on the planet.  Because THAT is Neil's speciality....making me feel loved.  Plain and simple.

Exasperation...

On Monday...
CLAIRE:  Mom, will you make muffins?
ME:  Not today...

On Tuesday...
CLAIRE:  Mom, will you make muffins?
ME:  It's my early morning, maybe another day...

On Wednesday...
CLAIRE:  Mommy, will you PLEASE make muffins?
ME:  There's no time today, Claire...

On Thursday...
CLAIRE:  Mom, can we have muffins today?
ME:  Not today Claire, maybe on the weekend.

On Friday...
ME:  Hey Claire, guess what?
CLAIRE:  What?
ME:  I'm going to go make muffins!
CLAIRE:  YAY!!!!!

Five minutes later...
CLAIRE:  Are the muffins done yet?
ME:  Not yet!

Two minutes after that...
CLAIRE:  When are the muffins going to be done?
ME:  Soon!

A minute after THAT...
CLAIRE:  NOW are they done?
ME:  In a minute...

Two minutes later...
ME:  Claire!  Claire the muffins are done!
CLAIRE:  Oh, actually, I don't really want muffins...