Friday, March 23, 2012

Decks, Smell-inducing Shame, and Plastic Hippos

Okay, so I guess I’m not really feeling crabby anymore…(probably because it is Friday).  Therefore it is time for a blanket update on the world that is ME:

·         We are building a new deck…nothing fancy…no frills…no composite decking…just a basic, here I am, stepping out of my house and standing on a platform--with a railing.  I guess I should say “Neil is building a deck.” because really, I have very little to do with the entire thing.  The first few days of me “helping” while he ripped apart our old one consisted of me giving him an, I hope you are not serious look when he asked me to actually partake in physical or dirt-inducing labor.  The scariest thing about the process was seeing the ginormous cracks in the foundation that were lurking under/behind our old deck…seriously-scary “HELLO RODENTS—Let’s have a party!” sized cracks.  I think they have put out little welcome mats and planted tulips.  Which takes us to update two…

·         Remember those whole rodent-welcoming cracks?  Yes.  Them.  Well, I have a little sad story to tell…maybe this has happened to you.  If it has…my sympathies.  Day 1:  About a week ago, I came home and said to Neil, “Something smells a bit off in here.”  So we do the obvious…empty the garbage, look/wash every wet cloth/towel/barn clothes in the house and forget about it.  Day 2:  I come home and think, “WHOOSH…something is NOT right in here.”  (Okay, I know you have caught on already…but hush.)  We are all over the house, sniffing, looking for mystery smell.   Where IS it?  Day 3:  We come home…OMG is that dead animal smell???  We are emptying cupboards, drawers, searching the basement (well, Neil did, I’m scared of the basement), lighting every candle I own.  It is BAD…(let me also remind you of the 80 degree weather we were having)…After days of diligent searching, and smelling, and dry-heaving…we have come to believe that the smell, is indeed trapped UNDER the floor—and above the basement, by our kitchen sink.  And there is nothing we can do about it.  But wait.  And eat out.  Lots.

·         There are other updates worthy of sharing, like our new dog, the viewing of the new Veggietales’ movie, and my love of spring…but this is just too much all at once.  So I will leave it at that…and a little piece of Veggietale advice:  Never trust a plastic hippo.  Profound.  Life changing.  Got to love veggies…

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